About Ryan – For Everyone

About Ryan – For Everyone

To my one, maybe tens, maybe hundreds or maybe thousands of readers.

I can’t say that I have any experience as a blogger. 15 days ago I would have said blogging has no place in my life. That has all changed. With this being my first post, I thought it best to very briefly introduce myself and maybe explain what my blogging will be all about.

I am 30 years old and Leah and I have been married for almost four years. We have been together for about six years. I graduated from college last year and have been working full time for many years. I have made my fair share of mistakes in life both with and without her. There is so much history between her and I on top of my own personal history that all plays a part in the bigger picture of what I have felt since we lost Ava. There are so many emotions that flow in and out of my mind since July 8.

I am going to talk about anything and everything related to my journey through losing my daughter. Just typing the words “losing my daughter” is the impossible becoming reality to me. I know there is no rule book on how to deal with this and there is nothing that anyone can ever do to take this pain away. I know it will be hard and I know that there will not be a day in my life that I will come to forget my precious Aveline.

There are a couple of things that I feel are important to mention. First, I in no way have any part in anything Leah wants to write. I don’t know that I will necessarily read everything that she writes. I want her to write freely about anything and everything she feels, including things she feels about me. If she is angry with me I want her to write it. It’s that simple.  This brings me to my second of two things to mention. I know that her and I are going to grieve the loss of Ava differently. She will experience things differently than I will. I do firmly believe some of it has to do with the fact that she is a woman and I am a man but it is also because our experience and the emotions attached are different. My wife carried our daughter. I know she was bonded to her in a way that I probably will never fully understand.

I hope that I can help men and women alike by sharing my experience. For those of you who are visiting that have lost a child as we have no matter your circumstances, I am so sorry that you are feeling this pain.

-Ryan

 

One thought on “About Ryan – For Everyone

  1. What a beautiful precious baby little Ava is… the love she has given our family in the 3 short days with us will be forever treasured.
    I am confident that no baby was ever loved so much.
    Watching you both become daddy and mommy and seeing the love and sacrifice you were both making to give Ava ALL of your love and attention was remarkable . A true portrait of true unconditional pure love for your child.
    Ava will forever be in my heart and I will with you on every birthday and holiday celebrate & honor my beautiful granddaughter that was taken to soon from us.
    Our precious angel.
    I know she’s looking down on you both and is smiling, proud to call you mommy and daddy.
    Forever in our hearts!

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