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Month: October 2016

October 16, 2016

October 16, 2016

I made it through a few days of writing the “capture your grief” blog. Then I didn’t feel like it anymore. Today is merely a window in time so it can’t be the way that I will look at things forever. I may even feel differently tomorrow. Who knows. In the last few months I don’t know that I have felt more isolated than today. I remember believing that couples who don’t survive the loss of a child end up…

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Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 6. Empathy”

Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 6. Empathy”

empathy   : the feeling that you understand and share another person’s experiences and emotions : the ability to share someone else’s feelings (taken from www.merriam-webster.com) This one is going to be a hard one for me, because I tend to focus on the things people say or do that aren’t empathetic as opposed to what empathy actually looks like to me. I’m going to try my best to focus on the latter in this post. Empathy from others can…

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Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 6. Empathy

Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 6. Empathy

Empathy is an emotion that I have struggled with in life. Sometimes I can’t always connect to another person’s pain so it can be difficult to know what to do. I didn’t expect to be on the other side of something so traumatic where I am the one struggling and everyone else is left trying to figure out what to do. I won’t really write a lot about this because some of it has already been mentioned before. When everything…

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Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 5. The Unspoken

Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 5. The Unspoken

This day is about the “nitty-gritty” of my grief journey. This could be things that I have done in my grieving process that I may think is weird, or things I do to remember Ava, or things I fear about the future that seem strange. All of these things lead to feelings of isolation because you think other people won’t get it. I know early on, I wanted desperately to find out that Ava wasn’t going to be okay had…

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Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 4. Support Circles

Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 4. Support Circles

Day 4 is about support; how we have felt with the support we received and any experiences we want to share. Not sure how I would incorporate a photo into this one. Leah had some good ideas but I wouldn’t want to steal them from her. Leah and I have talked about support and what are experiences have been in previous posts. I suppose there have been changes in my mindset in certain ways in the last three months. For…

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Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 4. Support Circles”

Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 4. Support Circles”

I’ve had a terrible day, and I don’t feel much like writing. It’s been one of those days where everything hit me all at once and I broke. Most days I usually force myself to get up and do something, anything to feel at least somewhat productive each day. Today, I did nothing. I laid in bed, and I let the tears flow freely. It was one of those days where I felt like losing Ava wasn’t ever going to…

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Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 3. What It Felt Like”

Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 3. What It Felt Like”

The first time I learned how scary pregnancy can be was in November 2015 when Ryan and I had a miscarriage. I, like most naive adults, assumed that aside from the episodes of nausea and the pain of delivery, pregnancy was almost always a breeze. We waited a couple of months and we started trying again. Fast forward to February 2016. I had started bleeding and assumed I wasn’t pregnant and was having my period, but the flow was much…

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Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 3. What it felt like

Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 3. What it felt like

As part of the project you can choose to post a photo of a particular moment, but for this one I chose not to. I keep some of my moments with Ava so very close to me that I don’t share them with many people as far as pictures are concerned. The single photo that is possibly my proudest but most difficult is the moment that Ava was grabbing so tightly onto my finger. It is the epitome of a…

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Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 2. Who They Are”

Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 2. Who They Are”

Aveline Mae Thompson. Who is she? She is my first born. She is forever 34 hours and 41 minutes old. She is her daddy’s girl – evident by her firm grasp to his finger, her reaching arms for his hand. She is beautiful brown hair, soft skin, perfect little nose and lips. She is a fighter – she held onto life long enough to meet our family, long enough to allow us to embrace her beauty and her presence. She…

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Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 2. Who They are

Ryan’s Capture Your Grief – Day 2. Who They are

Aveline Mae was born on July 8, 2016 at 6:01 PM, at just 24 weeks of gestational age. Her coming into this world so early was not part of the plan. I had just two days with my daughter before she passed away. She was in the NICU the entire time and Leah was also recovering from an emergency c-section. The entire time just felt like this unreal, impossible dream I was living. I remember quite a bit of those…

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