Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 4. Support Circles”

Leah’s “Capture Your Grief: Day 4. Support Circles”

I’ve had a terrible day, and I don’t feel much like writing. It’s been one of those days where everything hit me all at once and I broke. Most days I usually force myself to get up and do something, anything to feel at least somewhat productive each day. Today, I did nothing. I laid in bed, and I let the tears flow freely. It was one of those days where I felt like losing Ava wasn’t ever going to be less raw or less painful. I felt like my heart was breaking all over again. I will be “okay” if that’s what you want to call it, but I just don’t have it in me to write much. However, I didn’t want to miss an opportunity to show a few of the ways I have felt supported. Here they are:

 

ruby-ring
The ruby ring Ryan bought me in honor of Ava. A few years ago Ryan bought me a Ruby ring for our anniversary. When Ava died, I realized it happened to be her birthstone, so I chose to give the ring to her. Now we both have one.
picture-wall
This is the beginning of a gallery wall in our home. These pictures were taken while we were in the hospital, and one of our dear neighbors had them printed on canvases for us. Another amazing neighbor made the “A” wall art for the wall. This is one of my favorite parts of the house.
memory-box
This memory box was given to us by the hospital staff for all of Ava’s things. We try not to open it too much, because this is the only place where we can still smell Ava’s baby scent.
gravesite-marker
My mom made this grave marker for Ava’s gravesite because her gravestone won’t be in until late November at the earliest. It’s so nice to have somewhere to visit her, and it would have been much harder to do if we didn’t have this marker.
avas-garden-flower-2
A beautiful flower from Ava’s Garden
avas-garden-flower
And another. These were given to us by a dear family friend.
bench2
The bench my Dad surprised us with for Ava’s garden.
garden
This is Ava’s Garden. It’s in our backyard, and I promise you in the middle of the summer, it’s beautiful. Unfortunately my phone fell in water and I lost all of those pictures, so this was taken tonight. So many friends and family members had a part in creating this garden. From helping dig it up, to planting flowers, to purchasing something for us to place there. It’s the most serene place to be on a nice sunny day. I’ll post better pictures next summer when it’s blooming again.
avas-bench
The bench my mom made for Ava’s garden.

These are just a few of the ways we’ve been supported through this journey. We’ve also had so many calls, cards, text messages, and flowers sent to us. We’ve had meals provided for us and money donated for Ava’s funeral and headstone. We’ve been loved, prayed for and supported by so many. From the bottom of our hearts, we want to thank everyone who has simply just been there, wrapped their arms around us, and helped us grieve our sweet baby.

 

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